A Million Tiny Pieces

I've always maintained that "healthy living" shouldn't be one neurotic, self-loathing, military-like lifestyle, but rather a series of a million tiny pieces -- choices, if you will -- that you can tweak and change at any minute.  I beat myself up a lot over making what I deem to be "stupid" decisions (ie, the wrong choices), but usually find a way to bring it back around again and balance out my sins (ie, impulsive desires) with my saints (ie, mindful choices).  This week was a great example --

I was traveling.  I was tired.  It was hot.  I was CRANKY.  I wanted to do nothing but shovel pizza and wine into my mouth with the remote control balancing on my tummy.  Yet on Friday morning, I still managed to get up and at least go for a walk, when I quickly realized it was too hot and hilly to run.

I spent Saturday mostly sitting, and after a healthy breakfast, had a less than stellar lunch.  I was dehydrated (not enough water at this conference, which is unusual), and cranky.  I hit the airport... where I definitely drank more wine than necessary, but also talked myself into a salad for dinner, rather than the chicken crispers and fries that called my name.  Sunday didn't involve the best food choices, but also not the worst -- I could have grabbed chinese food instead of the sub I had for lunch -- and yesterday, my work-at-home day was so blissful I barely have the words

I woke up inspired to cook on Monday -- probably due to the fact that I'd been eating out of hotel rooms and airplanes for the past few days.  I just wanted to CREATE.  I hit the grocery store for a major stock up, then threw the windows open and set to work. 

By the end of the day when I got ready to head over to my brother and sister-in-law's house for dinner, I had two loaves of beer bread in the oven, a giant pot of homemade soup stock on the stove, white turkey chili in the crock pot, and a beet/radish/leek/feta tart cooling on the counter.  The house smelled amazing -- I could barely force myself to leave -- but more importantly, I felt calm. 

Mindful.  Satisfied.  Content. 

And even though I didn't go out for an intentional workout, it was a day reminiscent of those that I spent working from home -- I was on my feet for 80% of the day -- and by the time I got home from dinner, I fell into deep sleep easily and quickly.  I didn't need that last glass of wine or piece of chocolate; I didn't feel compelled to play around on the internet all night or stay up too late watching TV.  I was satisfied and "used up," ready for yesterday to end and today to start.




Cooking (well, any kind of creating, really) is practically a spiritual experience for me.  The creative expression lets my mind run free (I don't normally use recipes - I just make stuff up), while the awakening of the senses (sight, smell, touch, taste), fills me up in a way that reduces my desire to "grab" at things to satisfy whatever impulse strikes me.  I'm taking a photography class tonight, and I'm anticipating similar feelings.

I woke up alarm-free at 5:30 AM today -- and for the past 45 minutes have been quietly folding laundry, doing a few dishes, packing a lunch and prepping for the day ahead. 


Plan for the day:
B: eggs, polenta, cheese (6)
S: Vegetables w/ hummus (2)
L: White turkey chili w/ cheese & tortilla chips; granola bar (10)
S: apple (1)
D: Depends on what time I get home -- either some sort of pasta, or a chicken breast /baked potato / vegetable (9 points to "spend")

Off and running,
~Jessica