Weighing In

Woke up bright and early this morning, and despite a salty soy-filled sushi dinner (wow, how's that for alliteration?) the scale was magically down 1.5 lbs for the week.

Further proof that counting your calories (or points), exercising, and journaling food works if you actually do it, rather than just talk/write/think about it.

Who knew?




I'm very happy to see this number going down consistently.  Gonna try to keep up the momentum over the weekend, which will be difficult as we have more plans than usual: family BBQ tomorrow at my brother's house, massages on Saturday afternoon, and BBQ birthday party with friends on Saturday night.

My jeans are sitting a bit lower on my hips.  My arms feel toned from Tuesday's yoga.  My mind feels clear, and staying mindful of my movement is helping a lot -- I forgot to wear my DirectLife today, but yesterday reached 134% of my goal.

6.5 down; 27.7 to go.

Off and running,
~Jessica

Wisdom From The Mat

Well, I did it -- I hit up Slow Flow Vinyasa at 6 PM last night. 

I had an insane-o day at work, so I nervously left at 5:05, worried that traffic would make me late.  By some act of good fortune, the highway was clear and I was in the studio and changed by 5:25 -- over half an hour early with no book! 

So I browsed through the racks of yoga clothes, responded to some email via blackberry, and headed into the studio 10 minutes early to relax. 

An hour and 10 minutes later, I was drenched in sweat and already sore in places I forgot existed.

(apparently the YEAR that I took off from this class impacted my abilities)

But I made it through the whole hour.  My mind wasn't as clear as it usually was, but I did a good job of keeping up -- pushing myself through the places and poses that were easy for me, and taking it easy on the poses that felt impossibly hard. 

Accompanied by the wise words of my instructor, Naomi, I reflected on two statements that she made:

1) Yoga practice is not a linear process
2) The secret to balanced body is a balanced mind; the secret to a balanced mind is a balanced body.

The words "not a linear process" are still resonating with me, hours later -- sometimes, a run feels like torture.  Other days, I feel like I could fly down the parkway forever.  There have been yoga classes that I sailed through, totally focused on my breath and the feeling of the mat beneath my feet and nothing else... and then there are classes like today, when I have to struggle a bit to keep up, and make a conscious effort to gently nudge away the random thoughts that drift into my brain.  One good yoga session is no guarantee that you'll perform as well the next time -- there are weird twists and turns through the practice of yoga, impacted by both our mental and physical condition. 

One thing I learned about myself tonight?  I'm impatient.  I mean, REALLY impatient.  The name of the class is "SLOW flow vinyasa," yet I could help but want to rush through everything... move on to the next movement, the next pose... not taking time to deepen my stretch, fully engage my muscles, or relax my mind and focus on my breathe.  I suppose that is somewhat of an allegory for how I have lived my life lately. 

Rush rush rush.  Go go go.

As for balance -- well, that is something I talk a lot about in this blog, but especially over the past few weeks, I've struggled with a lot of different types of balance, namely of the mental variety.  I tend to overthink things.  I'm an "all or nothing" kinda girl.  When I have an idea, I want to execute it immediately, regardless of time constraints or other issues... when I want something DONE, I am unstoppable until the task is completed.  But sometimes that can be a detriment, because that level of... obsession?  Infatuation? Compulsion??... is rarely sustianable.  Burnout is inevitable.  My mind has been far from balanced lately, but in a different way, as I bounce around from thought to thought, flit from project to project, and feel as though there are loose ends needing to be tied up all around me.

But last night... I felt different.

Tired.  Balanced.  Focused.  Peaceful. Content. Ready to allow myself some rest.

I got home just before a massive thunderstorm hit.  I was eating dinner within 15 minutes.  Watched a little TV, wrote a few work-related emails, and climbed in bed with my book.

Lights out at 10:30

Off and running,
~Jessica

Going With The (Slow) Flow

I think it was week before last, I pledged that I'd get myself back into a yoga schedule of sorts.  Yoga is something that I go hot and cold on -- for one thing, I'm extremely picky about my studio, because I have a tough time doing yoga in front of mirrors.  I realize that many people think the mirrors are helpful, and they probably are, but whenever I have to twist and contort my body in front of a large mirror, I spend the whole time picking out my flaws and thinking about the parts of my body I loathe, which sort of defeats the purpose.


SO -- I go mirror-free, and there's really only one studio in my area that I know of that doesn't boast floor-to ceiling windows -- luckily, it happens to be my favorite studio anyway.  I do yoga much more for the mental than physical benefits -- although when I'm running a lot, I recognize that it has amazing hip-opening benefits, which always helps me stretch fully.  But I digress.  For me -- the real benefit of yoga is getting "out of my own head" for a while, moving through movements in a slow, calculated pace, becoming mindful of my breathe, and clearing my head. 

I was very pleased to find that my favorite (mirror-less) studio offers my favorite class at 6 PM on Tuesdays -- that gives me enough time to fight traffic, change in their locker room, and be home by 8 PM.  My favorite class is Slow Flow Vinyasa followed by 30 minutes of Restorative Yoga.  The Vinyasa portion works me into a pleasant sweat, while the Restorative is basically like meditation combined with massage. 

I had a wonderful and relaxing weekend at the cabin with my parents -- however, the downside of going away for the weekend is always that all my "weekend stuff" doesn't get done: cleaning, laundry, groceries, yadda yadda yadda.  I wasn't feeling very well yesterday, and had a ton of work to get done on a newsletter that I'm writing for work, so I opted to call in sick / work from home and it did just the trick.  Not only did I get 90% of the newsletter written, I was up early enough to hit the grocery store, had a little time to do laundry and prep food for the week, and by 5:01, I was firmly planted in the massage chair at a nearby salon, getting a much-needed pedicure.  I stayed up too late, but spent the day feeling productive and focused.

This morning I woke up exceptionally early, feeling unusually energized.  It is only 7:45 AM, and already I've made my ice box gazpacho, mowed the lawn, unloaded the dishwasher, folded laundry, packed a lunch, made a smoothie for breakfast, and prepped my dinner.  So when I roll into my cozy little home at about 8 PM tonight, I'll be able to just throw dinner on the grill without any prep work, and go to bed without feeling like there are 10 million things that need to get done.

I scale-hopped today and was thrilled to see that I'd maintained the loss from last week -- after a weekend away, that is actually a huge accomplishment, and I'm determined to see another loss on Friday.

And now, despite feeling like I've been awake so long that I need a nap, it's time to hit the shower and hit the road.  I have sushi plans tomorrow night with a girlfriend, but other than that, not much going on.  I'm looking forward to a few days of productive work, solid sleep, and intense workouts... I'm very overdue for a bike ride and a run!

Breakfast: smoothie
Snack: Grapes
Lunch: Quinoa chicken salad, crackers, vegetables w/ hummus
Snack: Popcorn
Dinner: grilled steak, corn on the cob, yukon gold potatoes
Water: 120 oz
Exercise: mowing the lawn + yoga

Off and running,
~Jessica

Every Movement Counts: Philips Direct Life

I mentioned a few days ago that my brother had gone to work for a new company -- namely, Philips, and namely as the account manager for one of their new wellness products.  The Philips Direct Life product is similar to a few products on the market that calculate your total movement throughout the day, encouraging as much natural movement as possible.  But this product dives a little deeper, tackling the part of weight loss that technology cannot: the human to human interaction that allows us to talk about the trials and tribulations of mental and physical health.

I've been on this journey for several years now - I think I first lost weight at age 22, and then walked through the doors of weight watchers for the first time at age 25.  Since then, with the exception of this past year, my weight has consistently gone down, and my level of health consistently up... but not without a lot of help.  I stumbled into a message board weight loss community of like-minded women, all with similar struggles and goals, and building relationships and friendships with them helped me in ways that a run or a food journal never will. 

Namely, isntead of "eating my feelings", I started talking about them.

Sure, counseling is great.  I have friends and family who are always willing to listen and to help.  A trainer at the gym, and a supportive weight watchers leader.  But until you've walked a mile in a fat girls shoes, you will never understand the struggle or journey of being in your 20s / 30s and trying to, firstly, just be NORMAL, and secondly, balance a normal social life with weight loss goals.  There aren't many people who understand this, so to find a whole group of them is an enourmous blessing.  It is my personal belief that just TALKING about these struggles -- staying mindful -- is half the battle.  When I start my day talking about my goals, they seem to actualize themselves a lot easier.

So the DirectLife program starts out pretty similarly to any gizmo or gadget you'll find on the market:

• Create your account, including your age, gender, weight, goals, etc. 
• Charge the device. 
• Learn how it works (in this case, the device has several lighted "dots" that illuminate green throughout the day, the closer you get to your goal. 
• Wear your device
• Upload data at the end of each day

But this is where the similaries stop, because the Direct Life device includes a very comprehensive program to help you tackle your goals from all directions.  After I'd been wearing the device for a few days, I recieved an email from my "Coach," Jen.  Jen works for the company and her job is to sort of be my weight loss coach.  Since I have a pretty intense background on this topic, I opened right up to Jen and told her my story, namely:

• Lost 70 lbs
• Ran a marathon
• Started a new "desk job" that totally changed my lifestyle habits
• Regained 30-35 lbs
• Goal is to lose those lbs
• Maybe I'd like to lose more than that, but we'll start there and see how I feel

I explained to Jen that I had a few good things going for me -- namely, I love to exercise and I enjoy cooking and know how to cook healthy foods.  I figured she'd be happy to hear that at least she wasn't going to have to talk me into 20 minutes on the treadmill or going for a walk around the block.  What I got in return was just the right kind of motivation and support: Jen checks in on me (she can access my data, if I've uploaded it).  For example, she'l tell me "GREAT JOB!" on a day that I've run an hour before work... but then turn right around and say "uh, but I can tell you basically sat on the sofa the rest of the night."

Oops.

(and also -- seriously?)

Because that is the REAL message here -- move more. 

You don't HAVE to be training for marathons or biking miles before work in the morning, just MOVE.  Don't sit.  Don't couch out for days on end.  Look for ways to incorporate natural movement into your life.  Ditch the elevator.  Take the stairs, park far away, ride your bike.. because it feels good to do what your body was designed to do.

When I officed at home, my life was filled with a million little movements -- so even though I was actively trying to lose weight and exercise, I was also in constant motion -- let the dog out, let the dog in, take out the trash, throw in a few loads of laundry, up and down the stairs, fold it, put it away, quick jaunt to the grocery store, mop the floors quick, clean the bathroom.  Even though I was hard at work from 9-5, I was rarely sitting still.  The switch back to an office / desk job has been hard on my body - not only because of the amount of SITTING, but the wardrobe that makes a spontanous walk difficult (read: suit and heels).  Keeping the DirectLife in my pocket and tracking my movement has helped me stay mindful -- and helped me make a few little choices each day that bring my closer to my goals. 

For example -- it is pretty easy to throw a tank top and yoga pants in a desk drawer at work so I can sneak out for a quick lunchtime walk.  I've been walking with a co-worker, and I think we've kept each other motivated.  Sometimes I sit on a balance ball at my desk -- not sure it is really DOING anything, but it sure helps me stay movivated.  Healthy choices seem to bring on MORE healthy choices, and before I know it, I'm going to bed at 10 PM after choosing baked fish and vegetables for dinner.

Bottom line: getting that daily email from Jen helps me to keep mindful of my goals, which impacts all of my actions throughout the day. 

A comment that a reader left the other day really hit home with me:

"Reminding yourself that each choice either brings you one step closer to your goal or one step further away. Either is okay as long as you're aware of the results."

Or, as my gal Jillian likes to say, "Make a better choice." 

Because you get to make about a billion of them every day.

Other things I lke about the product:

• 
  
  Wearability.  It comes with different wearing options.  You can wear it as a necklace, put it in your pocket, or attach it to your shoe in a little pouch.  You just need to adjust your wearing position for each day so that the calorie-count is accurate.  With products I've used in the past, the wearability was always an issue -- clips broke, or came unclipped... once I even flushed a product down the toilet!
• 
  
  Waterproof!  I wore it swimming the other day.  Just used the necklace option and tucked it into the bra part of my suit to keep it from dangling in my face.
• 
  
  Battery life.  Once you charge it, I believe it stays charged for upwards of 2 weeks.  Much nicer than worrying that it will go dead mid-day.
• 
  
  Holistic.  If you visit the website as a user, you have access to the coach blog, where lifestyle coaches write about topics in weight loss, weight management, exercise, etc.  Perhaps, as a blogger, I'm biased, but I always find this kind of information to be more readable and relatable than typical medical mumbo jumbo.  It is that level of authenticity, transparency, and personal storytelling that I find more compelling than a diet book or weight loss guide.

The DirectLife product isn't just about weight loss either -- it focuses on diabetes patients, those with blood pressure issues, and even those that just want to maintain a healthy body weight.   If you are an employer, this is a great benefit to offer to your employees.  Not only will you see a reduction in absenteeism, but you'll have healthier, fitter, happier employees who are happier having you as a boss. :-)

If you want more information about Philips DirectLife product, visit their website, and visit the Contact page to learn how to get in touch with a representative.

On that note - it is Friday.  It is sunny.  I'm wrapping up my day at work, and hitting the road for the cabin, where I plan to be very active and make a billion better choices.

Off and running,

~Jessica

In compliance with FTC regulations, I must disclose that I recieved the Philips Direct Life product for free as a part of a blogger outreach / press campaign. 

PS...

Forgot to mention this in the last post -- I know I said that I was going to try to get back to yoga this week, but that didn't quite work, due to some scheduling issues. HOWEVER -- my favorite studio has my favorite class (Slow Flow Vinyasa + 30 minutes of Restorative), on Tuesdays at 6, so I've already put it on the calendar for the next few weeks...

And On The 5th Day (and 6th Day) She Rested

I'm sitting at work, bouncin' away on my "chair," and feeling pretty darn good. Had a nice night last night, with The Manfriend, the brother, and the niece... ate some pizza, enjoyed a glass or two of wine, and crashed into bed around 11 PM. And this morning, I was rewarded for all my hard work: by a 3 lb drop in the scale.

(That's 3 lbs over two weeks, because I didn't weigh in last week).

I guess the program works if you work it. 

Imagine that.

I didn't do things much differently this week -- I had an extra workout.  A few extra glasses of water.  And I consciensciously journaled all my food.  The big difference?  I didn't eat my face off last weekend at the cabin.  I seem to get into this bad pattern of kicking booty Monday-Thursday, and then the weekend hits and all self-control goes out the window.  I go into "vacation mode" and think that the lack of structured days means I have license to eat and drink whatever I want.  Don't get me wrong -- last weekend involved a few beers, but it also involved a lot of activity, and reasonable food choices.

Back in late March / early April, I set a goal for myself of losing 33 lbs by my 33rd birthday (October 2nd).  It started off poorly, however, when instead of losing one single ounce, I gained 3 lbs.  Oops.  So then it became 36 by 33.  But now I've lost a total of 7 lbs from my starting weight, with 10 weeks left to meet my goal.  I don't expect to hit my goal as planned (29 lbs in 10 weeks is very loft and not at all realistic), but at least I know I'm making a dent in things.

I skipped my workout on Wednesday morning.  I woke up exhausted, and mildly headachey, and just couldn't get myself together enough for a bike ride.  I figured the day of rest would do me some good, given that my quads and abs were still insanely sore from Monday's run.  I did a ton of stretching that night, and figured that I'd sneak in a workout today.  Except... I forgot that I had a 7 AM conference call with our European offices (this comes right after Monday night's 8 PM call with our Asia offices), and there was no way I was hitting the gym at 5 AM.  And why the gym, you ask?  Because it is raining like crazy -- which means a lunchtime walk is also out. Bummer.

But two days of rest won't kill me, especially given that I have another weekend at the cabin stretched out in front of me, hopefully filled with more time on the boat, walks, kayak trips, and of course, a journey to watch the Hayward Lumberjack Competition.   Should be a good time. 

How about you? 

• What is your weight loss goal?
• How do you determine your "happy weight?"
• Any tips / tricks for staying out of "vacation mentality" while still having a good time?

Off and running,
~Jessica

Every Plate A Picture

I had a high school boyfriend whose older brother fancied himself a bit of an amature chef -- he used to say "every plate a picture" when referring to the presentation of food, and that phrase has always stuck with me, especially on the occasions where I am entertaining or I photograph my meals and creations to post here.

I didn't think of it until it was too late, so I don't have any "in process" pictures of last night's cook-a-thon, but it was a great one.  And it was prepared in a "Rachel Ray kinda way," because I was literally eating about 45 minutes after I walked in the door last night.  The Manfriend and I have an ongoing debate about whether her meals can really be prepared in 30 minutes or less. 

He says:  NO WAY. 

I say: mmm, kinda, sorta, maybe. 

Last night's feast? 

Shallot-red wine marinated pork tenderloin, roasted asparagus, and Parmesan & garlic mashed "fauxtatoes*."

Here was my step by step process, from 6:00 to 6:45 PM.

6:00 PM: Arrive home after battling traffic for an hour.  Turn on oven to 425.  Take defrosted pork tenderloin and place in a zip lock bag.  Dump 1/4 a bottle of Shallot Red Wine vinaigrette into bag.  Let sit on counter while I go to bathroom, check voicemail, crank on the A/C, kick off my heels and dump the suit in favor of yoga pants, flip flops, and a tank top.

6:10 PM:  Return to kitchen.  Remove asparagus, scallions, bagged cauliflower, lemon, shredded Parmesan, Parkay spray fat free butter**, and skim milk from refrigerator***.  Remove extra virgin olive oil, garlic salt, cracked pepper, and kosher salt from cupboard.  Toss the bag of cauliflower in the microwave for 3:30; chop scallion, trim asparagus.  Remove microplane from utensil drawer and food processor and measuring cup from cupboard.

6:15 PM: Oven dings that it is done preheating - place pork tenderloin in a foil-lined baking dish and place in the oven.  Set timer for 30 minutes.  Line a cookie sheet with foil and spray with Pam. 








Toss asparagus with EVOO****; sprinkle with kosher salt, cracked pepper; use microplane zester to grate some lemon zest; sprinkle over asparagus. Set aside.

6:20 PM: Start making your mashed "fauxtatoes," as I like to call them Dump bag of microwave-steamed cauliflower into food processor.  Sprinkle with scallions, Parmesan, and garlic salt.  In a measuring cup, pour 1/4 cup of milk and 1/4 cup of Parkay spray butter (ew, I know).  Pulse the food processor until the cauliflower starts to take on a mashed potato-like consistency... slowly adding the parkway / milk mixture until well blended.  Using a spatula, spoon the contents into an oven-safe dish and sprinkle with more Parmesan.  Set aside.

6:25 PM: (Girlfriend stops by very quickly to borrow a suit for a job interview.  10 minute gabfest ensues about the state of the world, oil spill, her sister's bridezilla wedding, work, and weekend plans). 

6:35 PM: Place cookie sheet of asparagus in the oven.  Place oven-safe dish of fauxtatoes in the oven. Get out your plate, fork, knife, napkin and pour yourself a beverage*****. 

6:45 PM: Remove all items from oven. Dish up your asparagus and fauxtatoes while you allow the pork to "stand" for 5 minutes, then slice and add to the plate (artistically of course).

Dinner is served. 

So this might have taken 45 minutes instead of 30, but that was mostly due to actual cooking-time, and the timing of needing to add the asparagus only 10 minutes before the pork was done.  Any way you slice it, it was a quick, easy, healthy and delicious meal.

Off and running,
~Jessica


*a wonderful carb-free way to feel like you're indulging in mashed potatoes, but really you're just cramming in an extra serving of vegetables, guilt-free. A tip: don't actually try to convince yourself that they are potatoes, just think of it as a cauliflower au gratin of sorts.
**I know, I know: disgusting, unnatural, and probably not good for me -- I mean, fat free SPRAY butter? What on earth IS it?? Certainly not food.  Definitely chemicals.  But sometimes even a self-proclaimed health nut has to make a few concessions for the sake of fitting back into her skinny jeans.
***this is where I wish I'd remembered to take a pic of the ingredients before I got crackin'.  No such luck.
****if I really were Rachel Ray, I'd annoy you all by perkily announcing "EVOO!" in my staccato tone, and then proceed to remind you that EVOO stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil, leading me to repeatedly ask the question... if you explain it's definition each and every time, then why bother abbreviating at all?
*****my new favorite weeknight beverage... pelegrino in a wine glass.  All the "ritual" of pouring and drinking a glass (fine, a bottle) of wine, none of the calories.

Housekeeping

A few items to expand upon yesterday's post:

1) As mentioned, I bought my own domain, so you can bookmark http://www.seejessicarun.com/ from now on.  Yippee!
2) I've also added my twitter feed to the sidebar - feel free to follow me if you are interested!
3) I've added "subscribe to" and "tweet this", "post to facebook", and "share this" options to the sidebar.  Feel free to retweet and tweet often
4) I updated my blogroll -- if you are interested in having a link on my site, please drop me a comment or email me at jessica1002 at gmail dot com.
5) You might remembe that my brother worked for a company called Muve that invented a product called the Gruve device... I have talked a lot about the Gruve on this website.  For the sake of authenticity, I feel that I need to tell you that my brother left the company to go to a similar company and rep a similar product... which I am now using.  The reason for this bit of information?  I'm going to be writing about the product in the next few days, and didn't want you to be mystified. :-)

And just a quick update...
After yesterday's 60 minute run, I was feeling pretty smug / superior -- I wasn't sore or tired, and my feet didn't hurt. Well, the happy feet continued through the night (still happy!) but ohmyholymotherofGod, I woke up with the SOREST abs this side of the Mississippi today.  I guess that is a reminder that I need to continue working on CORE strength, even though my focus has been non-gym exercise (running, biking, swimming).  I think that getting back into at least one day a week of yoga will help me with those goals (in addition to easing the sore muscles), so I'm about to go scope out my favorite studio's schedule to figure out when and where I can start regularly getting back into yogic shape.

So today I got up at 5:45 (beat my alarm, even!), and was in the pool by 6:30.  I figured that some leisurely, water-resistant swimming was just what the doctor ordered, and I was right -- except that I got bored.  So after about 40 minutes (instead of my usual 60) of lap swimming, I retreated to the whirlpool and sauna for about 10 minutes of blissful relaxation before getting myself off to work in time for an 8:30 meeting.  Before leaving Lifetime, I grabbed a smoothie and a salad at the LifeCafe -- smoothie for breakfast, and salad for lunch.  I love that they have all the nutrition information posted right there at the counter - definitely makes staying on track easy easier.

I know that I want to bike one day this week, hit yoga one day this week, and rest... so scheduling will determine how the next few days play out.

Friday its back to the lake I go...

• What's your favorite style of yoga / pose?  I'm a hatha or slow-flow vinyasa girl myself, but I adore a good restorative class when I need to "get out of my head" for an hour and relax.  As for poses - I love pigeon.  So great for my tight runners hips!
• Do you have a way to listen to music when you swim laps?  I get bored.  I need water tunes.  Any suggestions?
• What is your favorite post workout fuel?  I've recently fallen in love with chocolate milk, specifically Horizon organic reduced fat chocolate milk.  It comes in little juice-box style servings, with an itty bitty straw... and for about 180 calories (or 3 WW points, if you're counting), it packs a calcium serving + 9 grams of protein.  It has plenty o' carbs too, so the protein/carb ratio is right-on.

Off and running,
~Jessica

UPDATE

Please update your links and feedreaders - I've bought my own domain. You can now find me at www.seejessicarun.com. It might take a little while for this to go through, but it is coming soon!

(SeeJessRun was taken!)

Thanks for reading,
Jessica

Badda Boom, Badda Bing

I returned around 3 PM yesterday froma blissful weekend with The Manfriend at my family lake home -- the two days went by in a flash (I could have stayed a week), but were filled with sun and fun. We arrived around 6 PM on Friday and sat outside for hours before retreating to the deck to grill some dinner... stayed up late talking before retreating to bed to rest up for a sun-soaked Saturday.

The best part of the weekend?

A blissful, peaceful kayak adventure. I'm not exactly sure how long or how many calories, but I loved every second of it, and felt like I could have kept going for hours. We followed it up with a boat ride, a picnic lunch, a long nap, a dinner out, and a trip to the casino where After a quiet drive home and then about 5 hours of relaxing at Mike's house, I slept like a rock -- sad that the weekend was over, but ready to conquer Monday.

And just like that, I woke up and ran for an hour without stopping.
Yes, you heard me correctly -- did I stutter?

I'm not sure where it came from, but it felt amazing:

The exercise: ran 60, walked 20
Calories burned: 619
Max heart rate: 165 (during a sprint to beat a traffic light)
Average heart rate: 140s
Theme of the run: Right Here, Right Now by Van Halen ("One step ahead, one step behind, now you gotta run to get even")
Motivating (?) thoughts in the final mile: By the time this song is over, you'll be walking.

The image in my mind was the one I've posted above - the view from the end of the dock of our lake house. It's my "happy place," and I go there in my mind whenever I need to chill out. Today's run was the first one in -- to be honest -- I'm not sure how long, and I had to push myself through every minute, every mile. The first 10 minutes were pretty brutal. The second 10 minutes? Easy peasy. I talked myself into the next 10 by thinking "how good will it feel to say you ran 30!" and then the next 10 were a matter of efficiency (needed to get home a little faster). At that point, I'd gone 40 so why not 45? And then 50, for efficiency's sake.

The last 10?

Pure and utter determination --- I was simply too stubborn to quit.

Take THAT, Monday.

Off and running,
~Jessica

She's Gonna Blow

Since I started working at, oh, 6 AM today, I flipped on The Today Show in time to catch a feature about the gulf oil spill. I believe it is now Day 86 that this crap has been polluting our world.

And we're all to blame.

We haven't looked for enough alternative sources... we never should have allowed deep-water drilling... we're all oil-dependent. So yeah, ultimately the bucks stops at BP, but I'll take my share of the blame. I haven't been accountable or even thoughtful about my oil consumption... until now.

Until it's too late.

The strategist that was being interviewed spoke of the cap that BP hopes to secure on the well today. I believe his exact words were "it might stop the gush, but that pressure has to build up somewhere, and for all we know, it could cause an explosion somewhere ELSE."

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat.

But I gotta say, I know how that poor little oil well feels -- I've put the "cap" on the weight gain, which is awesome, but I keep having "one step forward / two steps back" situations. Like... last week, lost 2 lbs. Awesome. Woke up on Monday morning to an additional unprecedented 1 lb loss.

Yesterday and today?

Up 2 of those pounds.

And I didn't even think about it... until it was too late.

I know that part of daily scale hopping is dealing with the fluctuations, but normally those fluctuations help me to stay on track rather than frustrate me (I've been doing this too long to take it to heart).

In the heat of a ton of work stress + a week of many many social obligations (two of them work related, thus sort of mandatory), I have had little control over my dinners. And yes, ultimately there has always been healthy choices, but also plenty of unhealthy ones, and in the face of the aforementioned work stress, I am very susceptible to emotional eating and mindless munching.

So I've put the cap on, but I kinda feel like I might explode.

The good:

• Have gone for 1 hour walks with a co-worker during lunch twice this week.
• Healthy smoothies for breakfast, healthy steak salads for lunch
• I've retooled my snacking plan: a newfound love for chocolate milk* has become my morning snack (3 pts = 9 grams of protein), and moved my usual lunchtime vegetables + hummus to snack time, replacing my 4 pts worth of popcorn with 2 pts worth of deliciousness.
  

The bad:

• The walks have been great, but I've been working so late at night that I haven't had the energy to get up early enough to bike or run or go to the gym to swim
• My evenings for the last two nights have consisted of a big heavy restaurant meal + happy hour food on a boat booze cruise. Monday's dinner was some seriously awesome food, so I'll let that slide, but last night? Eh, since when are mass-cooked egg rolls and chex mix foods worth the calories?

The ugly:

• Top that off with a couple of beers and/or glasses of wine each night and I guess I know where those 2 lbs came (back) from
• Its not only that I am not sleeping ENOUGH, its that the quality of sleep has been less than good. Waking up semi-panicked about whatever I forgot to do at work the day before, trying to cram in household chores (ie, laundry, dishes, mowing the lawn) before work in the morning, which leads to feeling rushed, which leads to (you guessed it) more stress
  

I've figured out how I'm going to stop the leak again:

• First off, I'm going to skip tonight's "semi-mandatory" work function and hit the gym instead. It seems like a great day for a leisurely, therapeutic swim.
• Second -- The Manfriend and I are off to my family lake home this weekend. Nobody else, no plans, no obligations... just boats, books, beds, and relaxation. I haven't been there since February, and I cannot wait (and given that the weather in Minneapolis is supposed to be in the 90s, it is a great weekend to get the heck out of dodge to enjoy that cool breeze coming across the lake.

So how about you?

• How do you stop the leak once it has started?
• How do you keep from imploding / exploding?
• How do you recognize your breaking point, and practice the self-care necessary to get back feeling your best?

Let's talk.

Off and running,
~Jessica

*Horizon Organic Reduced Fat chocolate milk is OUT OF THIS WORLD good -- no bad stuff, tastes like melted chocolate ice cream. 3 pts and 9 grams of protein is awesome, and they make them in little juice-box style packs. I'm in love. I didn't grow up in a "chocolate milk household," so this is kinda new to me. Yum.

PS: I realize that these are very "first world" problems, and I do not mean to be disrespectful by comparing the tragedy and devastation of the oil leak to my trite little life, so I hope that nobody is offended by that.

On The Road Again

(I just couldn't wait to get back on the road again!)

This morning, finally, I had a beautiful morning where I was awake early enough to go for a bike ride. Nothing fancy - from my house to Nokomis, around Nokomis, and home.

About 7 miles

45 minutes

351 calories

Max HR - 143

Theme of the ride: "You Can Do It" by Ice Cube (classy)

It's Friday, the sun is out, the sky is blue, and I have a whole weekend of nothingness stretched out in front of me.

Oh yeah, and I lost 2 pounds this week.

This was my first "real" workout since the chin episode and it felt great - I'm a little saddle sore, and my legs are pleasantly tired now that I'm here at the office. But it felt good to get a great nights' sleep and then wake up with the sun -- quick check of the email, 45 minute ride, shower, smoothie, dry hair, 14 mile commute to work, and I was still here on time. Not bad at all.

As life returns to normal, I'm remembering how to do this -- not just the exercise piece, but the food management. It used to be very easy for me to float through weight loss land with the willpower of an athlete, but this year it has been hard -- and the more you slack, the easier it is to keep slacking. I've had a few major food victories this week that just helped to remind me that I'M the one in control of the food -- the food doesn't have to be in control of me.

Let's say that one more time for emphasis:

I'm the one in control of the food -- the food doesn't have to be in control of me.

I'm taking a page from* my pal Heidi over at Basil-Vodka (who I actually know through work), and posing a few questions to get some conversation going:

1) What's your favorite time of day to exercise?

2) Do you ever struggle with emotional eating?

3) Do you typically set weekly exercise goals for yourself?

Off and running,

~Jessica

*that's fancy-talk for "being a big copy cat."

Things Fall Apart

(*not quite what Chinua Achebe had in mind)

You'd think it was Mercury Retrograde or something, because listen to all the techno crud that has gone wrong in my world in the past 7 days:

1) Garage door continues to be wonky. Sometimes the fuse holds, sometimes it blows. I thought it was due to moisture (ie, after a harsh rain), but lately there seems to be no rhyme or reason. Ongoing.

2) Bedroom TV randomly loses picture but has full audio and volume and remote functions. I watch the news every night in bed -- last Wednesday night, watched the news just fine. Thursday morning, screen went dark. Yesterday... randomly started working again. I could NOT fix it, despite phone calls to tech support and browsing on the internet for solutions. But then last night -- BAM -- works again. Weird. This happened last Thursday.

3) Car. Randomly starts having issues upon starting. Runs fine, but starts rough. TUrns out to need a new battery (best news all day - I was CERTAIN it was going to be an alternator or starter or fuel pump). Odd because I've left my lights on twice for extended periods of time and the car has always started right up.... but then randomly on Friday started having issues. All better now. This problem started on Friday.

4) Cordless phone in office starts going very wonky and ultimately dies, despite the fact that it has rechargable batteries that are supposed to last "a lifetime." New batteries, phone fixed, problem solved. All week.

5) DVR box randomly stops recording or playing back. Signal is fine. Picture is fine. HD channels, pay channels, etc... fine fine fine. But the damn DVR won't work. So weird. Happened today upon coming home from work.

WEIRD, no?

On top of all that, I've got an out-of-control workload, a house begging to be clean, a lawn that needs to be mowed, and I'm coming up on a week that is packed with social events -- something I normally avoid like the plague on weeknights.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is... all those runs / bikes / swims that I was so anxious to get back to haven't, um, really happened yet. I pried myself out of bed this morning early enough to have time for a (not brisk) 40 minute walk (ok, stroll), along the parkway, smoothie in hand. It felt great, and I thoroughly enjoyed the 64 degrees, but it wasn't nearly long or tough enough to suffice.

The final thing that has fallen apart? My mini triathlon. I hadn't even announced it yet on this blog, but I had a cheeky title and everything ("Tri It, You'll Like It"). I was planning to participate in a tri at the end of August. A mini-tri (sprint tri), to be exact. But between being sick, 3 weeks of travel, the ankle injury, and then finally the surgery, I don't think I have time to accurately train. I can do all three componants (.4 mile swim, 14.3 mile bike, 3.3 mile run), but I've yet to do a single brick, and I'm not sure I can complete within the 2.5 hour timeframe.

Next year. Or maybe next season.

Tonight: dinner with the grandparents, an episode or two of Lost (I'm on Season 5 already, OMG, so good), and an early bedtime.

Off and running,
~Jessica

Look Ma, No Stitches!

Happy Tuesday to all -- the best part about a 3 day weekend?

4 day week!

I'm having some serious re-entry shock today -- my first day back in the office in over a week. Makes me realize how less-than-happy I am with this work/life balance thing I've got goin' on.

(Or NOT going on, actually).

But here's the good news for the day -- my stitches are out! My stitches are out! The above picture is little and not very good (self portrait with camera-phone), but my lower right chin (left in this pic), is where all 11 stitches came out this morning (the other 5, below the surface, are disolvable and will simply disappear!). It's a little red and swollen still, but overall, I'm pleased with the work they did. What is left is a faint scarred line and some redness, but that will all fade with time (certainly it will fade enough to barely be noticable, and perhaps not noticable at all with a bit of concealer). Doctor's orders are to keep applying Aquaphor, sunscreen, and be back on 9/1/10 for a follow-up with the surgeon, then again in 6 months for a cancer re-growth check!

In the meantime -- happily -- I've been given full clearance to exercise just as much as I want, and I must say that I can't WAIT to get back out there.

(Or, rather, once this humid spell passes, I'll be out there. Ha!)

And not only are the stitches out, but most importantly, the cancer is too. Even though it isn't the kind that spreads, I'm glad to have that... thing... out of my body.

I had an absolutely blissfully wonderful weekend -- Friday night was "date night" at Canterbury Downs where we randomly ran into some good friends and hung out until about midnight. Saturday The Manfriend golfed with a buddy while I had a lazy day and made us a nice quiet dinner. Sunday we had Twins tickets... a hot hot hot and humid weekend, but filled with fun and healing.

I'm back at work now, and while I missed my co-workers and was anxious to dive back into projects, I am definitely mourning the "work at home" week. Not only was I was super uber productive from home, I was incredibly accountable to my health-related goals. The thing I noticed the most was how incredibly easy it was for me to manage my food and my exercise at home vs. in the office. Even though I couldn't really exercise, I did squeak in 3 long walks. My meals were all prepared at home from M - F, with the exception of Monday lunch (sandwich from mom, post-op). I drank oodles of water, got plenty of sleep, and plowed through more fruit and vegetables and chicken breasts than I can count.

I won't be working out today -- but my food has been well managed, and I plan to hit the ground running (or biking or swimming!) tomorrow morning.

Off and running,

~Jessica

With A Bang

So, I know I'm supposed to be keeping "quiet" while my stitches heal -- no running, no biking, no swimming, and I'm assuming that mandate applied to lawn-mowing as well, but I woke up this morning feeling like a million bucks and saw this:


Yeah, that's the sky - taken from the street outside my house. Not a cloud in it. It is an unbelievably beautiful day, and I was up before any sort of heat or humidity and couldn't resist making the most of it. I started by a very unimpressive lawn mowing -- did a crap job, but hey, at least nobody will get lost out there. Then I realized that some weeds were basically taking my house and yard prisoner, so I did a bit more work out there -- about 90 minutes later, I was sweating but the weather was so gorgeous that I felt inspired.

I came in, threw on a different pair of shoes, and hit the road for a nice long, leisurely walk along the parkway and Minnehaha Creek, all the way to Nokomis:

It was a peaceful beautiful stroll -- there's just enough breeze to keep it from actually being hot, and the air smelled like fresh cut grass.

On the way home, I couldn't resist taking a picture of the sidewalk seating at one of my favorite restaurants -- Cafe Levain, a 5 star joint that just so happens to be located around the corner from my house. It is one of those little teeny door in the wall places where "if you don't know it's there, you don't know it's there," and honestly the food there is some of the best I've ever had (tip: the braised short ribs & brussel sprouts are amazing, as are the scallops).

In total, I think I got about 180 minutes of movement, and about 700 calories burned. Not bad! July is starting off, quite fittingly, with a bang. And since the rest of my weekend will probably consist of lots of beer, grilled food, ballpark snacks, and not much exercise, it's a good thing I made the most of this gorgeous day. It is supposed to be in the 90s and humid tomorrow (too hot for me!) and then in the 70s and raining on Sunday (boo), when we'll be hangin' at Target Field, watching the Twins (hopefully) win. Not sure what firework or friend plans are quite yet - still nailing that down.

I hope everybody has happy, fun, safe Fourth of July weekend... and that amidst the BBQs and fireworks and fun, you take a minute to remember the real reason for this day... and the people who have made and continue to make our freedoms possible.

Smoothie time!

Off and running,

~Jessica