Food of (P)interest

I've been just about the worst #HAWMC / WeGo blogger in the challenge for the past two weeks -- week 3 was all about "phoning in" my posts, and week 4 was about... well, just not writing them. 

In the spirit of health, specifically mental health, I realized that what I needed in order to be healthy was a blog break.  I feel bad -- guilty, even -- that I did not fulfill the requirements of the challenge, but hey -- something's gotta give.

So where've I been? 

I've been here.  Working.  Cleaning.  Doing yard work.  Meeting with contractors.  Decluttering the house.  Moving things into storage. 

The Hubs and I have decided to put the house on the market (YAY!!!!!!!), and we have a lot of work to do to get it ready (boo).  We've given ourselves a bit of a self-imposed 30 day deadline to get things done, but there is a LOT to get done, so we're also trying to be realistic.

But apparently this is how we roll -- since getting engaged in July, we've planned a wedding, gotten my house ready to sell, gotten married, opted to RENT my house, gotten the house ready to rent (inspections, etc), rented and filled a storage locker while moving me into The Hubs house, and now we're furiously getting THIS place ready to sell.  The first order of business was to upgrade our storage locker and move everything over -- we now are the leasers of a storage locker bigger than my freshman year dorm room -- and after a weekend of organizing, boxing, and moving, it is only half full. 

This is good. 

Not only do we have plenty of room, but if we try to kill one another during this stressful process, there's plenty of room for a bed. ;-)

Next up is oodles of yard work, while we wait for the contractor bids to come in: painting, light bathroom remodel, 3 new windows, new garage door, yard work, painted basement floors.... the list goes on.

Today, while The Hubs sleeps, I found myself in a familiar Sunday routine that makes me really happy. 

Cooking.

Oh yeah -- when I get stressed, this is something that soothes me (so is exercise, and I'm off to do that next).  I love the art of combining ingredients to make a finished product -- I love that it is all about vision, creativity, and a little bit of science.  And in following the Pinterest "obsession with all things edible and mini," I decided to FINALLY try a recipe idea that has been hanging out in my brain for a month or two, ever since I saw my college friend Mark (a fellow foodie, but something we didn't discover we had in common until post-graduation), post something similar on Facebook.  It got my brain cranking on how to modify the concept for my particular tastes and needs, and based on foods I normally have in my fridge.

I give you:

Prosciutto Quiche Cups

These are perfect for the low carber, as the crust is made from meat, and it doesn't really have carbs, other than that found in the half and half.

It didn't occur to me to photograph my adventure until some of the ingredients were already mixed -- and this is going to be one of those super annoying "I didn't pay attention to how long" posts, so bear with me:

1 packet of prosciutto
5 eggs (you could/should probably use 6, but I only had 5 on hand)

2 TBSP soft goat cheese (I went with the herbed variety, because I had it on hand)
2 scallions, chopped
A really big splash (1/4 cup?) of half and half (you could probably try 2% milk or ff half and half in place -- I accidentally bought REAL half and half last week and now I might be addicted to it in my coffee.  Oops).
Salt and pepper and other seasonings to taste (I used a squirt of my beloved Umami #5).

Grease a small muffin tin and set aside.
Preheat oven to 400.
In a small bowl, mix eggs, half and half, scallions, cheese, umami

Carefully separate the prosciutto and line the muffin tin compartments with the prosciutto -- this is a little bit tricky as it tends to rip pretty easily. 

In fact, I'd recommend you buy two packets of prosciutto, as I was about 2 slices too short.

(You can use the remaining prosciutto and goat cheese in a few days to make prosciutto wrapped chicken for dinner)

The prosciutto doesn't have to be perfect - in fact, when I went to eat these delicious things I found that the imperfections in the layering of the prosciutto meant that some bites were soft and some were crispy, which was delicious and the differences in texture kept things interesting.

Pour the liquid egg mixture into the cups; sprinkle with salt and pepper and bake for about 20 minutes

(this is the annoying part - I went into the other room to fold laundry, and didn't come out to check on them until they started smelling good, at which point the tops were still a little jiggly, so I let it cook for another 5-10 minutes.  sorry).

 They should lift out pretty easily when done, I just used a dinner fork.

I served them (to myself!) with a side of grapefruit with just a TINY sprinkle of sugar on it -- the sweet /tart / sour of the grapefruit really complemented the salt and savoriness of the quiche cups.

The Numbers:
4 WW points each

134 calories
2 grams carbs
10 grams of fat
10 grams of protein

Aren't they pretty?

Now that I've spent the morning cooking and caffeinating, it is time for a run (walk?) -- the sun is shining for the first time in days... the windows are open, and anything is possible... which is good, since this will be my first outdoor run since September!

Off and running,
Jessica

The Post It Always Sticks Twice

Today's #HAWMC prompt is to visit  Things We Forgot, and create our own healthy reminder  It is probably too small to read, but the image above is of the post-it I created just now and stuck on my computer screen.  It says:

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

A good reminder for a rainy gloomy weekend like this -- yesterday I was up early as usual, cleaned the house from top to bottom while The Hubs worked on cleaning / organizing the yard and garage. By 5 PM I was so tired I could have fallen asleep... but we pressed on; went out for a late dinner / date night, and then I was dead asleep around midnight.  In between 5 PM and our late date (9 PM?), there was a whole lotta laundry, and a whole lotta sofa-surfing, remote in hand.

Since today is Gloomsville, Part 2, the note is a reminder that while the weather outside is frightful, I have a treadmill in my cozy basement calling my name.  I can make a different and better choice today, and be rewarded for it tomorrow.  If it is a reminder for ME, I should leave it stuck to my laptop or mirror -- two of the first things I see each morning -- but I'm also tempted to bring it with me to the grocery store and hide it somewhere in an aisle of junk food, hoping that somebody else will stumble on the bit of wisdom and make a better choice.

It is 7:30 AM.  The dishwasher is running.  My blog is updated.  I'm making a grocery list.  Then grocery store, workout, meeting with realtors, laundry, and the rest of the day remains to be seen!

Off and running,
~Jessica

#HAWMC Mad Lib

all in Sunny

     All in Sunny went my Woman shoping
   on a Inspirational treadimll of Tired
   into the Ambitious picture .
   
    Caring Daring lamp ed Creative and ing
   the Graceful curtains before.
   
    Excited be they than Detailed glasses
   the Strong Content curtains
   the Content Graceful curtains .
   
    Caring Content fish at a Grateful wine
   the Balanced bathtub before.
   
    shoes at marathon went my Woman shoping
    shoping the house down
   into the Ambitious picture .
   
    Caring Daring lamp ed Creative and ing
   the Educated dishwasher before.
   
    Healthy be they than Intelligent Content candle
   the Daring Grateful curtains
   the Happy Creative n curtains .
   
    Caring Happy television at a Tired car
   the Athletic tree before.
   
    computer at tulips went my Woman shoping
    shoping the yoga pants down
   into the Ambitious picture .
   
    Caring Daring lamp ed Creative and ing
   the Athletic basket before.
   
    Impressive be they than Dedicated ipad
   the Disciplined Joyful curtains
   the Determined Brave curtains .
   
    Caring Determined coffee cup at the Sunny yoga pants
   the Brave iphone before.
   
   All in Sunny went my Woman shoping
   on a Inspirational treadimll of Tired
   into the Ambitious picture .
   
    Caring Daring lamp ed Creative and ing
   my footstool cook computer before.
   
   - Jessica & e.e. cummings

Create Your Own Madlib on LanguageIsAVirus.com

Media Alert

(Today's #HAWMC prompt is to write a news-style article about a topic in fitness)

"Eat Less, Move More Found To Be Best When Trying To Shed Pounds."

Despite years of denying it's truth, American Medical Association finds that there is no "quick fix" for dieting - the best way to shed pounds is to do math.  Eat less; move more. 

"Creating this so-called "calorie deficit" just seems so complicated," says veteran diet-pill-popper Ima L. See.  Another commented, "I have spent so many hours sitting on the sofa on my laptop, researching exactly what medicines I could take to make me thin, and now they tell me that all I had to do was WALK?  I mean, that's practically offensive to dieters everywhere."

Despite years of trying to disprove it's theory via diets like Atkins, The Zone, South Beach, Paleo, Cabbage Soup... programs like Slim Genics and Optifast... prescription drugs that do everything from make your heart race to your bowels leak, it turns out that eating less and moving more IS the "quick fix" we've all been looking for.

"Just think," commented an unnamed bariatric surgery patient, "if I had just counted calories and gone on some walks during the 6 months that I had that lap band in, I would have lost the same amount of weight -- WITHOUT two surgeries, a hernia, massive gastric reflux, and vomiting up every morsel of food I ate.  It just doesn't seem fair."

Further studies show that the presence of whole natural foods should make up the majority of ones calorie consumption - supplementing with processed foods, "fake" foods, and packaged goods can cause inflamation, cravings, indigestion, imbalanced blood sugar, and a variety of other secondary issues.  If you are trying to lose weight, you should eat a balanced diet of lean protein and dairy, as many fruits and vegetables as you can stomach, a few servings of healthy fat each day, minimal processed carbohydrates, and the occasional treat!

Off and running,
~Jessica



In Defense of Food

Today's #HAWMC prompt is "If you could have dinner with 5 people, living or dead, who would they be."

This is always a loaded question, simply because it brings up factors of love, death, longing, inquisition... but in keeping with the theme of this blog, and the fact that imma girl who loves to throw a party, my themed dinner would be with 5 writers who discuss food, food politics, cooking, nutrition, and weight management.

1. Michael Pollan - In Defense of Food / The Omnivores Dilemma
2. Peter Pringle - Food, Inc
3. Eric Schlosser - Fast Food Nation
4. Jamie Oliver - Food Revolution, Cook Your Way to the Good Life, The Naked Chef (plus who can resist that adorable accent?)
5. Lucia Watson - Savoring the Seasons of the Northern Heartland; owner of Lucia's restaurant and wine bar in Mpls; James Beard award nominee... and family friend. :-)

(Honorable mention: Mark Bittman, Alice Waters, Thomas Keller, Lynn Rossetto Kasper, and Michelle Obama for her work in planting an organic garden at the white house and fighting childhood obesity).

We'd gather -- preferably in her restaurant -- and talk about food. 

We'd plan a menu. 
We'd shop. 
We'd cook -- with Lucia and Jamie teaching kitchen technique.
And Michael, Peter, and Eric teaching us about nutrition, food politics, genetically modified foods and how to avoid them, the dangers of high fructose corn syrup, why Monsanto is evil, and other fun topics like the nastiness of school lunches and why America has an obesity problem.

And then - we'd dine. 

Taking a lighthearted approach to the above topics, we'd pour some wine, light some candles, play some music, and dive in -- savoring the nourishing, flavorful, satisfying and NATURAL meal we'd just made.

Hopefully I'd leave with five new friends.

Off and running,
~Jessica

StrengthsFinder 2.0

Gosh, this #HAWMC challenge is harder than I thought it would be!  I find myself really wanting to dig into these topics, and not finding the time to do it justice, and then when I DO find the time, I'm so freaking tired that I don't want to write! 

Today's prompt is to grab the nearest book and open to to a random page and point to a phrase.  Free-write about the phrase for 15-20 minutes.  I actually started this post quickly before I left the office for the day, which made the first part of the assignment real easy -- because I only have one book here -- Strength's Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath (coincidentally, the NYT bestselling author of "Wellbeing.")

The phrase?
"You inspire trust because you are cautious and considerate about sensitive topics.  Use these talents by taking on opportunities to handle delicate issues and conflicts."

I'd say that describes me pretty well.  I am a natural confidant -- somebody who people trust with their secrets.  My joking 'catch-phrase' about this is "people are always tellin' me things I didn't want to hear."  In reality, I am glad to be somebody that people trust, and that they look to for guidance or sympathy.  I wouldn't want to change that about myself. I've often considered exiting the business world and going back to school to be a social worker or therapist, because I feel like those skills come a lot more naturally to me. 

On the downside, it also causes me to worry and stress a lot.  I like being perfect.  I like situations to be perfect if I'm involved.  I can be a little bit OCD about "controlling" situations - even when they are out of my control.  I'm not great at that whole "let go, let God" mentality.  So when faced with these "delicate" situations, I often make myself crazy trying to position everything "just so" as to make everybody happy.

I'm not really sure if that answers the question correctly, and once again, it is 8:30 PM and I've run out of steam so I'm gonna leave you with that and hope for more inspiration to write tomorrow!

Off and running,
Jessica

Learned the Hard Way

The #HAWMC prompt for yesterday was to free-write for 15 minutes about a lesson you learned the hard way.

Uh, only one?

 But I didn't have 15 minutes to free-write and I certainly don't right now -- so yesterday is going to be considered one of my "day off" days, and I will say only this:

The lesson I have learned the hard way is that weight loss is never OVER.  If your lifestyle changes slightly, so must your maintenance plan.  Maintenance was super easy for me when I was still working at home, living in yoga pants and running shoes, and could buzz out for a walk or run or trip to the gym whenever I felt like it.  The minute I got back into a suit and heels and corporate America and rush hour and meetings, my entire world got rocked -- and my metabolism failed to get the memo.

So my message to you?  BE YE NOT AS STUPID.  Make sure that your caloric intake adjusts with your activity level.  If life slows you down, then you have to eat fewer calories. 

The end.

Off and running,
~Jessica

Very Pinspiring

Today's #HAWMC prompt is to create a healthy living board on pinterest, and share 3 images -- this is easy, because I have a "Workout inspiration" board and a "d'lish" board on pinterest, most of which is focused on healthy eating.

So here are my images -- quite honestly, there are so good ones it was hard to pick just three, so I"m going with four.

The first one -- because I love seeing imperfect people in print, who aren't airbrushed to hell and back, and because I think this is probably a lot closer representation of the majority of women than the models we nromally see.  Also?  This woman is STUNNING.  I mean, she might not have washboard abs, and I see some cellulite down there, but look at her face!  Her eyes!  Her hair!  She is beautiful.  And HAPPY.  And, probably not starving.

I have been saying this for years.  I don't recall hearing it anywhere, I just thought I started saying it.  Love that I saw it in print.

So true, so true... "run through your own fits of self-doubt."  Been there, done that, have the t-shirt!

And probably my favorite (Click to enlarge):

Off and running,
~Jessica

Through the Lips; Over the Fingertips

Today's #HAWMC prompt is to talk about my writing style -- "What’s your writing style? Do words just flow from your mind to your fingertips? Do you like handwriting first? Do you plan your posts? Title first or last? Where do you write best?"

This is a topic I've touched on a few times over the course of this blog and also while I was writing for Health magazine -- I don't know where the words come from, sometimes they are just there.  I generally have an idea in my head of WHAT I'm going to write about, and maybe a few key quotes or phrases that have for whatever reason resonated with me, but I don't plan out my posts any more than that.  I don't write outlines, hand-write posts, or plot them ahead of time.  

By the time I sit down to write, the words are just there.

This was a phenomenon in college too -- my friends were always absolutely shocked that I could sit down to write a paper and just bang it out and be done in a few hours.  I don't think I ever pulled an all-nighter a single time throughout college.  I always explained it that by the time I actually sat down to write, I'd been THINKING about it so long that the words were already formulated in my brain, and while that's mostly true, there were certainly plenty of times that I sat down cold and a few hours later had a finished product in front of me.

When I was writing for Health, the closest I ever came to "planning" is that while I would be out on my weekly long run, with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company, I'd usually plan my weekly column.  I'd run and run, and hink and think and think.  About life, about my training, about the signs and sounds of the run -- and by the time I got home, I usually had the "lesson" worked out that I wanted to write about.    

Writing and fitness, or health, have always been symbiotic in my mind, and as I write this right now, I'm realizing how badly I need for the rest of this challenge to resonate with me as much as writing for Health did -- motivation, determination, obligation, and inspiration were the things that kept me writing -- and thus, running -- back then, and I need for that to be a part of my life again.

Off and running (and writing),
~Jessica

I'm Glad I Spent It With You.

Saturday's #HAWMC prompt was to write about a perfect day -- I didn't write yesterday because I was busy HAVING a perfect day -- perhaps not exactly how I'd plan it out in my single days, except for one thing -- I was disconnected from the world, celebrating 6 months of marriage with my fantastic husband. 

(In reality, my perfect day would consist of an early morning, a delicious breakfast, some great exercise, some spa time -- massage, manicure, pedicure -- a yoga class, dinner at a fantastic restaurant, then a glass of wine and a movie before snuggling into bed at a reasonable hour -- does that make me old??)

Anyway, it is hard to believe that it has been six months since I walked down that aisle, er, dirt path, but I am SO very glad we did.  The Hubs and I have been together for just over three years total - when we met,  referred to him as The Salesman, and later The Manfriend, and now The Hubs.  We had talked about marriage since day 1.  Well, technically since date 2 -- both acknowledging that it was something we wanted in our lives, and it wasn't that much longer until we both started thinking that it was something we wanted with each other.  We've been together since our very first date.  There have been bumps in the road, of course, and I think that the idea of marriage was a little terrifying to both of us -- after all, you don't get to be single and in your mid-30s without experiencing a little bit of anxiety at the idea of going from "me" to "we," but I am so very glad that we took the plunge. 

To be honest - it has been a lot easier and more rewarding than I expected.  Everybody told me "the first year of marriage is the hardest," and if that is true then I cannot imagine how it will get easier from here on out -- we live together well; we partner to get things done.  We have fun together, and are respectful of each others need for alone time.  We have chores fairly wordlessly worked out (I am the cook, the grocery shopper, and the dish-doer; he does the laundry and most of the yard stuff), and have started to settle into a routine.  I always look forward to seeing him at the end of the day, and although I was nervous about it initially, I LIKE having somebody to share in decision-making and big choices -- it is a sounding board that I've been without for a really long time, and better yet, one that I trust completely. 

Anyway -- my point in writing all this was to say that it has been a pretty perfect weekend, with my favorite person in the whole world -- not doing anything particularly special, just taking time to enjoy each others company and tune out everything else.

And on that note, I leave you with the 1972 words of Lou Reed:


Oh it's such a perfect day,
I'm glad I spent it with you.

 
Off and running,
~Jessica

10 Things

Today's #HAWMC prompt:

"List 10 things you cannot live without."

In the past I may have gone very literary / interpretive with this post, and waxed on about my husband, my family, my friends, etc... but... those aren't THINGS.  And while I agree that "the most important things in life aren't things," that wasn't the assignment.  So here we go.

10.  My running shoes.  Not even because of running.  But because without a few days a week (Namely, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday), where I can't put on running shoes instead of dress shoes and cruise around, I think I would probably have died of some orthopedic injury.  One side effect of having worked at home for 5 years?  I absolutely LOATHE being uncomfortable, and having uncomfortable feet is probably the worst of it.  Pants is #2.  For my job, I'm constantly racing from meeting to meeting, sometimes in distances up to a mile round trip, and wearing uncomfortable "work clothes" is the pits.  Jeans and tennies people!  I am MORE productive this way!


9.  My bed.  I bought a fancy bed a few years ago -- a Sleep Number. I can't say enough good things about it.  A lot of people rag on sleep number beds, and I think that the haters just haven't taken the time to figure out their correct number!  I love that I can lower it a few clicks after a hard workout and cocoon in for the night, or I can make it firmer if I'm having some aches and pains.  Some nights, it feels like a time warp has occurred because I cant' believe how soundly I sleep.

8. My neti-pot.  To be accurate -- it is actually a Neil-med sinus irrigation system, which looks like a squirt bottle.  How did I survive allergy season before this?  For those who have never used any form of nasal irrigation before -- no, it doesn't feel like the "water up your nose" of your childhood.  No, it doesn't hurt.  Yes, it is a little bit gross.  But you are literally washing allergens and pollution from inside your head -- if you are an allergy / headache / sinus sufferer like me, it is a must-have.  I literally look forward to using it and find it to be very soothing.


7. My iPhone.  Lame.  I'm a gadget girl; a techno queen.  I am connected 24-7, 365.  I love it.  When I first got my iPhone, a former blackberry girl, I didn't get what the fuss was about.  the on-screen keyboard still isn't my favorite, but I love how fast, reliable, and streamlined it is.  And cute.  Can't forget cute.  This sort of technology in general makes life so much more... connected.  i can listen to my work voicemail on my iPhone, from anywhere I have a signal.  Let's just pause and absorb that . Somebody calls my desk (which I am never at), and leaves a voicemail on my land line, and through some modern miracle of telecommunications, I can pick that voicemail up through my iPhone anywhere in the world.  Amazing.  I can also view documents and presentations.  Pretty soon I will actually be able to download an app that allows me to view my work DESKTOP via iPhone.  God, technology is amazing.  The productivity / efficiency alone is mind boggling.

6. My home.  I'm not talking about "my" house or "Mike's house," or any house in particular, just the fact that we are fortunate enough to have a solid roof over our heads.  Hell, we have two roofs.  Anybody want a house?  Anybody?  Please?   But seriously, I am just so very grateful that we're settled, happy, and home.  I'm a homebody - although I love to travel, I'm always happiest at home.  Especially now that The Hubs is in it. 


5. My treadmill.  No comment necessary.  Except: note to self -- GET ON IT MORE OFTEN.

4. Greek yogurt.  This was a game-changer for me in terms of nutrition. It's just yogurt.  No crap added; no chemicals, no additives... comes in a variety of brands, usually in 0%, 2% and full fat variety.  Works in savory recipes (good base for dips or sauces), and sweet (smoothies).  It packs upwards of 13 grams of protein per 6 oz serving, and I guarantee you'll never go back to buying yoplait or whatever sugar-ladden junk you're used to.


3.  Cold cold water.  On a good day, I chug 120 oz of water.  Cold cold water.  It keeps things moving, in every way imaginable.  I think to think of it as cleaning out my body.

2. Vitamin D.  Unfortunately for this MN girl, I freak out if I go too long without seeing the sun.  This makes for some very long winter months if I'm not careful about it. I get gloomy.  Lethargic.  Depressed.  The Hubs would say "that's just winter in MN," but when, in mid February, I start crying just looking out the window, that's not normal.  Enter: Vitamin D!  Oh, how I love thee, let me count the ways.  You are my magic potion; my wonder drug.  And now you come in gummy form, which is even better.  Studies show that most Americans, especially those in colder climates, are Vitamin D deficient.  We're not getting enough sun in the first place, and when we do, we are lathering on the sunscreen due to skin cancer concerns.  I used to go to the tanning booth a few times in the winter, but after a skin cancer scare a few yeas ago, I swore off it for good.  Good for the skin; bad for the vitamin D levels.  So now I just inhale Vitamin D by the handful and all is right with my world (note: that was hyperbole.  you should talk to your doctor about how much D you should be taking - in fact, have your levels tested, and if you are deficient, they will prescribe you a weekly dose)

1. Touch.  Okay here goes the esoteric waxing.  A sense of touch is one of the most powerful things in the world.  I run on pretty high anxiety levels sometimes, but all it takes is for the Hubs to take my hand, or put his palm on my back, and my blood pressure drops and I am calm and peaceful.  I remember reading a story once about how babies in third world orphanages were withering away because nobody touched them.  Giving and getting hugs is one of the greatest gifts in the world and I'm so lucky my life is filled with them!

Off and running,
Jessica

Mirror Mirror On The Wall...

Today's #HAWMC prompt:

"This morning I looked in the mirror, and..."

Well, THIS morning I looked in the mirror and thought "wow, my hair actually looks cute this morning."

How'd that happen, you ask?  Probably because when I went to bed at 10:33 PM, I barely moved until my alarm went off at 6:30 AM.  Many nights I toss and turn - lately my allergies have been bad enough to even cause some snoring.  If I've had a glass or two (or five) of wine, I often sleep VERY poorly -- waking up a couple of times and not being able to sleep past 5:30 AM. 

Yesterday morning, when I first glanced in the mirror, had I not known better, I would have thought I'd been up all night -- red puffy eyes, still gluey with sleep.  Wild bedhead.  Dry skin.  It wasn't pretty.

But this morning?  Could have changed clothes and walked into work.

As I always say "the cycle starts with a good night's sleep" and as a result of last night's slumber, I had a hyper productive day at work, filled with good choices.  Took the train to and fro; probably walked 2-3 miles in the skyway and made good food choices -- oatmeal mug for breakfast, home made soup and breadsticks for lunch, and a few pretzels as a snack while prepping dinner: pork tenderloin, sugar snap peas, and some herbed pasta salad.

Pretty excited to enjoy the night and the open windows and do it all over again.

Off and running,
~Jessica

Unwritten

Today's #HAWMC prompt is to share the lyrics of a theme song - I'm getting to this a little late in the day, so my apologies for kinda "phoning it in."

In 2007, I turned 30.  I'd just gone through an epically bad breakup (no, seriously.  You think I'm kidding?  A year later, when it was still going on, 1800 GOT JUNK had to get involved.  I can't make this stuff up), lost 72 lbs, and crossed the finish line of the marathon... I was at a major crossroads in my life, and it was an exciting time for me. I'd just finished writing the series of columns for Health magazine, and I was pretty sure I wanted to do more of that.  A lot more.  This song was popular for a long time, and every time I hear it now it, it brings back a sweet mixture of sadness, excitement, optimism, and longing.

I didn't know what was coming next in my life, but I knew it was going to be awesome -- and every time this song played on the radio, which at the time was about every 20 minutes -- I'd crank up the volume and just SING.  I loved the notion that the main character in the song was just absolutely stretching and reaching to grab onto something that was in her line of sight, no matter how far off it may seem.

These days, the future is a lot clearer - although ambiguity is a constant in life, it is very reassuring to know that the pen in my literal and figurative hand has at least started to script out a storyline I'm happy with; one that makes sense; one that matches the vision I've always had in my head of what I wanted life to look like.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Off and running,
~Jessica

Dear Self... circa 1993

Today's #HAWMC prompt is to write a letter to your 16 year old self.  Oh wow, where to begin*.

Dear 16 Year Old Self,
Above all this, remember - you're pretty great.  You're talented and smart and kind and funny, don't ever let anybody take away your sparkle.  Don't ever lose your instinct to treat everybody with kindness and respect; don't ever lose your positive attitude.  Don't care so much what other people think, unless you are worried that you've done something hurtful, and then you should apologize, learn from it, and move on.  Keep playing the piano and the flute; singing and dancing.  Keep enjoying your throne in the palace of nerd-dom, the marching band.  Keep surrounding yourself with those awesome friends, because when you are 34, you'll be amazed that most of them are STILL your best buddies.  Don't forget to stop and smell the roses, and don't forget to take care yourself while you're busy taking care of others.  Never forget to be grateful for everything you have been given, just by the random luck of being born into such an amazing family.

Now for the tough love.  

Self, you're a little bit lazy sometimes. 

Not only physically, but academically.  This trait will not serve you well over the years.  Unfortunately, even if you don't LIKE something, sometimes you still have to do it.  This is true not only throughout academia, but in the social world and also the professional world.  We don't always get to choose everything -- sometimes things choose us, and a positive attitude and adaptability are always going to set you apart from the pack.  As for the physical laziness -- unfortunately, a healthy and balanced life does NOT mean a life filled only with academic and artistic pursuits -- learn to run.  Or at least walk a lot.  Make physical exercise a part of your life -- over the years, it will help you with stress, weight, etc... all things you're gonna struggle with.

And listen to your dad -- you SHOULD join the swim team.

Also, Self -- you can ease up a little bit on yourself.  Nobody expects you to be perfect.  You don't have to be so high strung.  You don't have to be so negative about your imperfections.  You're not ever going to be a size 2 -- or even a size 8.  You just weren't built that way. Stop letting people tell you who and what you're supposed to be, and how you're supposed to look -- you are YOU.  And there isn't anything wrong with that.  Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes - stop letting other people compare you to your size 0 best friend and telling you that your thighs are too big.  None of this matters.  You are growing up in a city where it seems that everybody is perfect, everybody fits into a skinny tiny perfect mold -- this is not the way the rest of the world is.  It won't be until you are are in your mid-20s that "curvy becomes the new skinny" and celebrities like JLo and Beyonce become the standard of beauty -- but trust me, it will happen, and it will happen riiiiiiiiiiight about the same time that you wake up and think "I think I'd like to lose some weight, not necessarily for vanity purposes, but for HEALTH." 

That means you are ready.

In your 20s, you'll embark on some pretty amazing adventures -- mostly good, but a few bad.  Your career is gonna be pretty awesome -- but don't forget to balance that with self-care and relaxation.  You'll meet a lot of amazing people, and a few icky ones -- silver lining?  You'll LEARN the most from the icky ones.  Hard lessons, but important ones.  By 30, you'll have figured out a lot of things that it takes many people decades longer to learn -- that your heart can't actually break, that you're stronger and braver than most people give you credit for.  You're going to cap it all off my running a marathon -- something you NEVER thought was possible. 

Nobody can ever take that away from you.

(Even though that f'ing marathon is going to be on the hottest day of the year -- you're still going to cross that finish line, too stubborn and determined to quit).

Most importantly -- never EVER stop listening to your instincts and trusting your gut.  

It is usually spot on.

Never stop laughing and making other people laugh -- remember that teacher who told you to be a stand up comedian?  THAT probably isn't going to happen, but the world becomes a much easier and happier place when filled with the chimes and gasps of teary breathless laughter -- do your part to keep that going. 


Keep on living a life filled with love and laughter and compassion, and good things will happen.

And I promise that no matter HOW bad things might seem over the next, oh, 18 years, it all works out in the end.

Love,
Me


*technically this is my 17 year old self as it was taken the summer before my senior year, but close enough!

#HAWMC - Just Keep Swiming

I adore these posters -- from the traditional ("Keep Calm and Carry On") to the hilarious ("Freak Out and Throw Stuff") to the cute ("Keep On and Go to Target")... they always make me smile.

Today's #HAWMC prompt was to create one of these posters and post an image to the blog.

I've always said that healthy living / weight loss / athletic training isn't about perfection, it is about persistence and progress.  If you have a bad day, it is such a blessing to know that tomorrow is a clean slate.  As long as you have a smile on your face and determination in your gut, amazing things can happen.

I was about 25 when my health-consciousness began, and I kicked and fought and cried and laughed and wrote (and ran!) my way through a 72 lb weight loss -- those years were filled with incredibly high highs and incredibly low lows.  But despite injuries and frustrations, weeks of gaining rather than losing weight, breakups and job stresses and losing grandparents... I never quit, and I never will.

As my guy Winston Churchill once said, "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loosing enthusiasm."  And although "enthusiasm" is perhaps a bit too much to ask for when the going gets rough, it is never too much to hold the expectation that you'll never quit.

I've lost weight, I've gained weight. I've changed my job, my last name, my address, and my marital status in the past 6 months.  But the one thing that I will never change is, no matter how many times I tumble or fall, my relentless pursuit for health and balance. 

Keep on keepin' on.

Off and running,
~Jessica

He Is Risen!

First of all, a happy (hoppy?)Easter to all of you -- wherever you are, whatever you do, whomever you're with, I hope you enjoy the day and the truly beautiful weather.

I didn't write yesterday... it was really silly, I had a whole post planned out in my head, and then between the napping and the grocery shopping and the TV watching, I just... didn't.  I've already broken my #HAWMC goals!

So today is double duty -- yesterday was a topic'less day - the assignment was just to write about whatever we wanted.  Today's topic is to recount the most interesting conversation that I had all week.  So I'm going to do double duty and tackle them both in one (although this is less about a conversation and more about an experience).

The picture above is my grandfather (and me)
He is 95 years old.
(Yes, he's still alive). 
His wife, my grandmother, is 90.
They have obviously been a huge part of my life, because now I'm in my mid-30s with living grandparents (unusual), and because they live only a few miles away.  I have always adored my grandfather and his quiet, sweet-natured temperament.  He's a foodie and a wine guy, and a life-long athlete -- traits I've come to appreciate and acknowledge more and more as he has aged.

Right now, if you were to see my grandfather, he would look pretty much exactly as he does in the picture above -- just lying down instead of standing (And of course, without a 3 year old on his shoulders - although you could probably swap in his great-grand daughter, my niece Abby, and get the same effect).

You see, the old dude just keeps falling.  He's mentally sharp, he's still sweet-spirited... but he just doesn't get around like he used to.  He's got a walker, but imagine being an able-bodied athlete your whole life, and then being told that you have to slow down and use a walker!?  What?

I skiied with this man until I was 18 years old.

So he keeps falling.  And each and every time, he bangs himself up a bit -- bruises, cuts -- but nothing ever HAPPENS to him.  And the doctors can't find anything wrong.

So basically, the guy is 95, and healthier than 95% of the population.

This last fall was pretty bad - it landed him in the hospital with a few cuts and a very sore shoulder.  Bad enough that now he's living in the health care wing of their retirement community, rather than living in the apartment with my grandma.  I went to see them yesterday -- terribly nervous that my grandfather was going to be a mess.  That he wouldn't remember me.  That he was on death's door. That he'd be frail and weak and vacant. 

I could not have been more wrong.

When my mother and I walked into his room, he greeted us with a cheerful hello. He was dressed -- down to the shoes -- and lying in bed, watching The Masters tournament.  He was chipper and talkative -- moreso than usual.  He's gotten very quiet and withdrawn over the years -- sometimes it is hard to get him to talk -- but yesterday, in the absence of noise and chaos and lots of other people, he was very conversational. 

Peppy, even.

And then, just before we left, we discovered that he wasn't even wearing his hearing aids. 

Yet seemed to hear us just fine.

Hmm.

The theory there is twofold - one, without my grandmother around all the time, he has a minute to get a word in edgewise; he relies on her less to make the conversation, and the focus is truly on him.  But more importantly than that, I wanted to talk about my grandfather's health.

I don't think it is a coincidence that my grandparents - athletic my entire life - are in their 90s and reasonably healthy.  They have jogged/skiied/golfed/played tennis/ fished / hiked my entire life -- even well into their 80s they were attending "Silver Sneakers" exercise classes in their retirement home, and my grandfather loves to get in his walker and cruise the halls to keep the body moving.  It is truly remarkable, and I believe what has kept them alive and healthy for so long. 

They are generally healthy eaters, but they are also people who enjoy coffee and wine and dessert.  They even SMOKED in their younger years -- and then instantly quit and never touched cigarettes again the minute the surgeon general announced it was unhealthy.

Everything in moderation.

With health on my mind, I hit the grocery store later in the day -- I automatically made many healthy choices.  Fresh vegetables.  Lean dairy.  Lean protein... in fact, the only UNhealthy thing was the near mental breakdown, induced by grocery shopping at 5 PM the day before Easter.  I always make healthy grocery choices, but this was more conscious than usual -- no processed foods.  No granola bars, crackers, or pretzels.  No potatoes.  No pasta. 

There are lots of thoughts floating around in my head about diet and lifestyle and how to feel as good as I want to feel -- so that at 95, I can be as healthy as my grandfather.  So that when The Hubs and I go down the kid path, I can be a healthy mom and role model.  So that today, tomorrow, next week, next month and next year, I can enjoy life to the fullest. 

I've got some friends trying out the Paleo diet and Atkins, and although I don't really believe in or feel the need to eliminate entire food groups, I'd also love a way to quickly kickstart a few lbs of weight loss.  When combined with Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet is something that has worked for me in the past -- basically, eating all the SBD foods, but still counting points -- and I think I'm headed down that road again.  I need to get through this week's breakfasts and lunches (smoothies and oatmeal mugs -- neither of which will be okay for the first two weeks), and then put a new eating plan in place. 

When I think deeply about food, it brings out some spiritual / holistic feelings -- mainly, the thing I always come back to is that the things we should subsist on are the things that are naturally present in the Universe. 

Grains.  Vegetables.  Fruits.  Fish, chicken, and lean beef.  Milk.  Yogurt that doesn't have a whole bunch of STUFF added to it.  The planet and population have managed to evolve for kabillions of years based on the notion that the earth has provided exactly what it needs to survive.

And I assure you - that doesn't include baked lays or fettuccine alfredo.

So that is my dual-day post, all about my grandpa -- such an awesome guy, and somebody we could all learn a less from:

Whatever life hands you, keep on moving... with a smile on your face, and corny joke in your back pocket. And there's never anything wrong with a little glass of red wine.

Off and running,
~Jessica

Phoning It In

#HAWMC
Write a haiku.
(FYI, that means 3 lines, 5/7/5 syllables)

Good intentions start
With notions of healthy living
Sometimes doesn't work.

After a day of totally healthy eating, I polished it off by meeting a girlfriend for an early happy hour.  Laughter burns a lot of calories, so that's my exercise today!

that's all I got. ;-)

Yellow Tulips Everywhere

"Ekphrasis Post. Go to flickr.com/explore and write a post inspired by the image. Can you link it to your health focus? Don’t forget to post the image!" #HAWMC
 I read today's prompt right away upon waking -- it was such a creative prompt that I couldn't wait to dive in. But the day got away from me, and before I knew it, I was on the train home, clicking on the flickr link from my iPhone... but once I saw this image it was so perfect I was glad I'd waited.  Had it been another time or place, who knows if this would have been my image.

When I was a junior in college, I lost a dear friend to cancer.  G was one of my best friends from high school, and at the end of sophomore year of college, she was diagnosed with angio sarcoma.  I don't know a ton about the particular form of cancer, except that it was very rare and deadly - at the time of her diagnoses, the Mayo Clinic had only seen 10 cases... and 7 had passed away.


We were 21 years old, and obviously this rocked my close-knit group of friends to the core.  Although I don't grieve over this anymore, I think I can safely say that not a day goes by that I don't think about G.  

The cancer took her in less than a year.  And in that year, there were awful times and awesome times, but mostly awful.  Days when I'd wake up crying and go to bed the same way.  Days when when I was so screwed up over this that I landed myself in therapy.  Days when, during her illness, we would laugh so hard we'd almost puke and usually end up crying.  Days when the realness and vulnerability of the situation was so incredibly heavy. 

"I'm scared," she'd admit to me -- cautiously.
"Well, I'm scared too.  But a year from now, this will all be behind us."
"I sure hope so."


~~~~~~~~~~~~


I barely remember the drive home from my quiet midwestern liberal arts college - I just recall that I needed my advisers signature for my next term of classes so that I could leave - I shoved some papers in his hand, tried to hide my puffy eyes and tear-streaked face, and told him I didn't know when I'd be back.

"Okay.  I, uh, I.. are you okay? I hope you are okay."

Old dude had no idea what to say to me.  But that's okay, because I really didn't want to talk. Suddenly we were all at a funeral.  G was gone, and nothing made sense.  




But anyway.  Back to the tulips.


G LOVED Tulips -- particularly yellow ones.  They were so happy and cheerful.  Every time I'm at the grocery store and there are yellow tulips, you can bet they find a way into my cart (in fact, I just tonight threw out last week's tulips, who had seen better days).

Last year, the hospital where G received most of her care, broke ground on a new cancer wing.  Her father was on the board or the fund-raising committee or something, and many of us donated funds towards the Greta E. Frank Memorial Family Room, a place where families can gather while their loved ones go through treatment.  The high school gang all contributed to donate a brick with her name on it on a walk-way outside the building. 

And in her room, on the wall, a framed print... of yellow tulips.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How does this tie back to my health?  Well, there's the obvious things -- never take your health for granted; get frequent check ups; don't ignore suspicious signs and symptoms... but also part of what I learned throughout this whole ordeal is how OKAY it is to feel what you're feeling; own your emotions, process them, and emote.  I have always been the "lock things up and bottle them away" type of girl, but in learning to love and let go of Greta, I learned to mourn openly; to let myself be sad in public, and that it is okay to say what you're feeling when things are icky.

I smiled quietly when the picture of tulips showed up on my phone.  I knew instantly what to write about - didn't even have to give it any thought.  My sweet friend Greta, still looking down on me from above, still inspiring positivity in my life every day.

I love you.

Off and running,
~Jessica
 

I Write About My Health Because...

#HAWMC:
Spend 15 minutes writing, without stopping, on the topic, "I write about my health because..."

I write about my health because it keeps me aware; sometimes by writing, thoughts come across my screen before I've even actualized them in my brain.  Like God or the Universe or some other master power put these thoughts in my brain, and the only way to discover them was to just start writing and see where I end up.

I write about my health because my putting my journey down on paper, not only do I have a memoir of my experiences and an outlet for my stress, but a way to share that with others who might learn something -- anything -- good, or bad -- from my experiences. 

I write about my health because it makes it REAL - before I wrote about my health, I was, frankly, unhealthy.  As if the words weren't on paper, the reality didn't exist.  I could live a blissfully ignorant life, avoiding mirrors and new pants and making blissfully easy unhealthy choices and never acknowledge the consequences of my actions -- namely, my ever-expanding waist. 

I write about my health because even though I STILL make many choices that result in an ever-expanding waist, I am accountable, not only to myself but to an audience.  And frankly, the latter is more powerful.

I write about my health because it helps me recognize patterns in my behavior, my stress, and even my menstrual cycle -- the triggers and stressors that lead to certain behaviors, or the choices (both bad and good) that affect the way I feel the next day.

I write about my health because it has introduced me to a whole community of writers that I can learn from.

I write about my health because I'm PROUD of what this blog and the others before have helped me to accomplish -- when I trained for the marathon, the biggest reward was getting to write about it, getting to use my words to inspire change and empowerment in thousands of strangers, which in turn inspired me to keep going going going.

I write about my health because it sets a tone for my day -- gives me a plan, a goal, and something to be accountable towards.

I write about my health because in this life, this world, this society, it is the one thing that truly matters.  I can write about jobs and friends, cars and houses, weddings and funerals, babies and grandparents and all of that is important, but at the end of the day, if you don't have your own health, you have nothing.

Off and running,
~Jessica

Superhuman

Today's #HAWMC topic is "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?  How would you use it?"

I thought about this topic the whole car-ride in -- in between yawns and glugs of coffee, I imagined a world where I had endless energy... sleep was not required, of if it was, quality and quantity of sleep would not affect my energy level.

I closest I can come to experiencing this is several years ago when I was officing out of my home AND training for the Twin Cities Marathon.  I'd conditioned myself into such an ultra-healthy lifestyle that I had sesemingly limitless energy -- despite working from home, I was usually wide awake by 7 AM at the latest.  I was usually out for a run or some similar form of exercise quite early in the day.  In addition to training and working a full time job, I also kept a clean house, a healthy eating schedule, a busy social life, was an active dog-mom... the icing on the cake was that I also had a freelancing writing job, a weekly column for Health Magazine about training.

I would crash into bed every night tired, but not exhausted -- simply satisfied from the busy day and excited about the one ahead.  My sleep was satisfying, which always led to another day of good choices and intense exercise. 

Life was good.

As I've left the office-from-home life and back into corporate america, I've had to make a lot of adjustments - namely that "getting ready for work" doesn't entail throwing on some yoga pants and putting my hair in a messy ponytail and taking position on the sofa, ready to dive into a day of email and conference calls.  Time is more valuable now, and more limited.  Commuting takes up at least an hour of my day each day, which doesn't seem like a lot until you realize that's about the same amount of time it takes me to get in a full body workout.

So maybe my "super power" isn't actually a POWER (endless energy) as much as it is the ability to make days LONGER when necessary, but not feel tired because of it. 

Or maybe I just need to find a job that allows me to work from 10-6, or wear yoga pants to the office. ;-)

Off and running,
~Jessica

Words To Live By

Today's #HAWMC prompt is to pick an inspirational quote and free-write about it for 15 minutes.  I can assure you that I do not have 15 minutes to free write today, unfortunately, plus most of the quotes I find super inspirational speak for themselves!  So my version of today's challenge will be to provide you with a FEW quotes that I have found inspirational over the years.

1) "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're always right."  Believe it or not, I learned this one at band camp.  Yes, I played the flute.  It has stuck with me since about 1995.  While there are times when this isn't true (no matter how much I THINK I can marry Brad Pitt, that probably isn't going to happen), it is surprisingly accurate, especially when talking about diet and exercise.  I cringe when I hear people say "I can't do that," in regards to lifestyle changes.  Yes, yes you can.  You might not WANT to, but you CAN.

2) "The miracle isn't that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start."  Ahhh, my guy John Bingham.  It is almost silly of me to call out particular quotes because basically his entire book, "The Courage to Start" reduced me to a puddle of tears, circa 2007.  When I first THOUGHT about training for the marathon, a guy ran by me with that quote on his shirt, and I just instantly started.  After that, it is just momentum, but getting over the initial inertia is the hardest part.

3) "Persistance, not perfection."  I am sooooooo far from perfect in terms of living a healthy lifestyle.  And whenever I think I have it nailed, I screw something up, order a pizza, drink a bottle of wine, or spend an aftenroon on the sofa... then the guilt sets in, and I wake up fresh the next morning.  The trick to living healthily is not to be found in perfection, but in the "fall down 9 times, stand up 10" mentality. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a personal note -- I didn't sleep terribly well last night, which means that I did not exercise before work this morning.  Rather, I woke up early enough to make the train, and arrived at my new office in one piece, right around 8:20.  I've had meetings in other buildings today, so I have been moving around quite a bit; breakfast consisted of my Oatmeal Muffin Mug, and lunch was a big salad and a roll... we are grilling dinner tonight, steak, asparagus, and twice baked potatoes.  I've stuck to water so far today, and that will be the goal for tonight as well (no diet soda).

Off and running,
~Jessica

Heath Activist Writers Month

I posted about this a month ago -- in talking about what to give up for Lent, I chose, instead, to delay Lent for a month and instead take on a challenge -- this was inspired by receiving an invitation to participate in  WeGo Health's Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge.

This is it!  No foolin' -- April 1st is here, and thus begins a month of writing about healthy topics.  This couldn't come at a better time for me -- first of all, it is spring, the season of growth and rebirth.  Second of all, I have -- to be blunt -- SUCKED at healthy living lately.  Sure, the basic principles are still intact, but I've been skating by, coasting by, just barely managing my stress level, and making plenty of mediocre (and less than mediocre) choices. 

Friday and Saturday I managed to make some GOOD choices, in an effort to get things back on track -- namely, on Friday night, I made a giant salad for dinner and went to bed early, after sticking to a rockin' Friday night of ice water and TV.  Saturday I was up pretty early, and got a TON done... ate a healthy breakfast, worked out, ran errands, made another healthy salad for lunch, made some from-scratch soup, and then... after a very frustrating car-almost-buying experience, didn't eat dinner, which ended up being a epic #FAIL when coupled with a few glasses of white wine. Today = tired. And hungry.

Tomorrow when I go to work it is to a new job and a new building (same company, but a new role).  Once again, it is a symbolic opportunity for rebirth -- starting over, starting again, etc.   

I aim to make my health as big of a priority as it once was.

So all of that is my round about way of introducing myself to those who are new here, my goals to those who are not, and my intentions to myself.

Welcome -- and away WeGo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's topic is:

Health Time Capsule. Pretend you’re making a time capsule of you & your health focus that won’t be opened until 2112. What’s in it? What would people think of it when they found it?

Well, the health of Americans is not a pretty sight right now -- obesity is at an all time high.  Cancer is out of control.  I'm only 34 years old, and already I have lost a dear friend to cancer, had another one battle thyroid cancer, and a third is battling breast cancer RIGHT NOW.  Did I mention that these people are all just from my close-knit group of high school friends?  I would fill it with statistics -- about obesity rates, heart disease, cancer, etc... articles about how bad things have gotten.  And then I'd fill it with samples of all the processed food crap that we eat -- bread, crackers, chips, cookies, pre-fab meals, etc... in hopes that 1) these people won't have a clue what those things are because eating habits have changed so drastically, and also that the lack of decomposition will prove how unnatural and healthy things are.  I'd try to get my hands on some heirloom seeds - non-GMO seeds for things like tomatoes, corn, soybeans, etc -- so that the future generations could, if necessary, regenerate crops of non-GMO foods.  I'd include DVDs ("What's a DVD?", they'll say), of movies like Food, Inc and Fast Food Nation, eye opening documentaries about the state of nutrition today... and I hope that whoever watches them is able to say "Wow, we've really come a long way."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 For myself, thinking about a time capsule is a little different -- I'd include my marathon medal from 2007; a printed out copy of the articles I wrote for Health Magazine.  I'd include my "before" pictures, from before the 72 pound weight loss, and the "after" pictures -- of me, happier, healthier, and lighter, both emotionally and physically.  And then I'd have to include some present day pictures, which unfortunately show me about 40 lbs heavier than when I crossed the finish line, but also show me radiantly happy, in a beautiful wedding dress, kissing my best friend, the love of my life.

Not lighter physically, yet somehow practically weightless.

Off and running,
~Jessica


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